Drown It Out

Drown out life and make it my own. Something I find myself stumbling on. Make this day mine and no one else's. Such a feat to try and control. How does someone manage to lose themselves while tending to those around. A solitude life, and a lonely one at that. Bringing tears to my eyes at dusks goodbye. Trying so hard to lose the chaos that has followed close behind for so long.

I this life I am living? I always thought there would be more. much more. I understand the need to survive, but must we lose ourselves in the process? Once upon a time I could find myself thinking about my future, and being proud. Where have we brought ourselves? A place where euphoria no longer exists.

Waste my life wishing otherwise. Change my own mind. Bring in the hourly watch of an unsatisfying stay. Weeks are years when I look through the broken window of lost hope and dreams. Hearing the ring of pain and annoyance in my ear. Tell me once more why I am here?

Understanding life is harder than entertaining angles...uninterested angles.

Should I fight to get back to the surface of things, or just let it all take me in. Make myself my own hero, if I fail I have no one to lose faith in but me.

In order to drown out life, the music must be louder than anything else. Knowing me. It probably already is.